I am now in the state of making my long time planning comes true. If the same frustration doesn't ease in the near future I will confident enough to start my project. Without fear without worry. Because all of these self esteem recognition goals are just something/entity which are not eternal.
I want to do something I have a passion for. Not doing something not me. Something that I was always forced to mastered. Most of them I have to self learning and sacrifice huge amount of my time and energy. Count in tears and pride.
I pray to Allah to be by my side and give me strength as always. It is good if I have some shoulder to cry on when I was in up-side down of my struggles. But without fear without worry, I must do it now! Otherwise I will not achieve my goals till the end.