Monday, August 24, 2009

Ways to Disagree -- Agreeably!

In great relationships, people know how to quarrel constructively. Here are seven easy steps for managing those inevitable disagreements.

If you agree that some disagreements are inevitable in even the best relationships, then it’s important to establish ground rules for healthy negotiations. Let’s look at seven principles of constructive conflict:

1. Both people have a legitimate right to feel and think the way they do.
No one is wrong simply because he or she has a different point of view. There is something wonderful about being told by your partner, “I disagree with you, but I respect and honor your position.” This reduces the threat of feeling wrong just because you’re different.

2. Your points of disagreement must be crystal clear to both of you.
Half of all disagreements could likely be settled in minutes if both partners knew exactly what they were fighting about. So often when emotions get revved up and adrenaline starts flowing, communication becomes muddled. It’s helpful to stop and say, “What precisely is the issue here? What are we really fighting about?”

3. Disagreements should be settled as quickly as possible.
Conflict can almost always be managed more successfully in the “spark phase” rather than the “blaze phase.” The sooner you can extinguish the flames, the less damage will be done.

4. If just one of you “wins” the argument, you both lose.
Conflicts get our competitive juices flowing, and winning the argument becomes the number-one goal. In the heat of battle, it’s easy to focus on what is best for "me" than what’s best of us. It feels great if I win the argument—but it hasn’t helped to strengthen the relationship.

5. Put-downs and name calling are strictly forbidden.
Any comment intended to demean or degrade the other person will do nothing to solve the problem. It will only drive you and your partner farther apart to say, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

6. Remember to use your ears more than your mouth.
One of the principles in Steven Covey’s popular book, Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, is to seek to understand rather than be understood. In the midst of a squabble, nothing facilitates progress as dramatically as listening. This can be tough to do when we’re intent on defending our own position. But when we open ourselves to our partner’s thoughts and feelings, barriers come down.

7. The goal of conflict is unity and understanding.
When a couple encounters conflict, they stand at a fork in the road. One path leads to disunity and dissension; the other leads to unity and understanding. You can choose to fight mean and nasty, or you can choose to fight fair and open-mindedly. Each choice will reap consequences, either for great gain or terrible loss.

Before you decide to settle down with someone, be sure the two of you know how to settle conflicts in a healthy and healing way.

by eHarmony Staff

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Lawak antarabangsa

Tak tauler sapa buat subtittle tuh, video nih di post di fb oleh 15Malaysia....layan!!...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Salam Ramadhan

For those who always with me in this blog, I express my gratitute for coming to my blog and thanks for sharing your ideas. Wish you a great rewards by the merciful Allah.

" To Allah I return, broken and repenting, my heart is filled with words of dua and prayers! "

" So please o Generous one, forgive me in this month, take away from my sins and accept my prayer! "
* The month of Prayer ( dua ) *
* The month of Prayer ( dua ) *
* The month of Prayer ( dua ) *

O Lord You've made this month for us, so that the souls fill with mercy and compassion... from the sea of your generousity, so force ( my soul ) with your generousity to lose its sins

In its shade ( Ramadhan ) the breathes are full of praises and its day forgiveness, so forgive me ( ya Allah )

*The month of Giving*
*The month of Giving*
*The month of Giving*

My soul is overweight ( in its sins ) and it is ( as it should ) afraid of your Punishment!
and the tomb glances me and my ( naughtiness ) and I seek Your protection o Allah !

Allah is my refuge and the Family of Muhammad ( and Muhammad ), and my love for the messenger is Much.

The month of hope
The month of hope
The month of hope


"O month, within your nights fate cries about a night in which the evil killed the guider ( Imam Ali ) "

Haider ( imam Ali ) gave you ( o month ) his blood and as long as Zeinab ( his daughter ) makes dua - her dua was full of grief!

Ahh! She prayed with grief to her God about the imam and the ayat ( words of Allah ) announced the trouble ( of the assasination of Imam Ali )


Thanks to Shi3i4lyf for sharing this beautiful nasheed. They told that he's shiah but I did love the translation of this nasheed as well as the melody....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Working With Gen Y


We want to live for more than work. We like to feel that we are living for more than just ourselves. Corporate social responsibility initiatives make a company more attractive to us, creating the perception that by not just living selfishly, employers are somehow better people.

THE economic downturn has thrown up many challenges to employers. One of the most publicised issues is retrenchments necessitated by cost-cutting. Employers know that there is a fine balance – they have to be mindful of the immediate need to keep the business afloat while ensuring good talent is retained.

With this in mind, the ability to understand the needs of employees – keeping them happy and motivated – is more important than ever. Globally, surveys have shown that employers struggle when it comes to the younger work force.

Popularly known as “Generation Y” or “millennials”, they include those born between 1978 and 1988.

My generation is apparently a bit of a conundrum for senior management. Why is this so? Are we really that different and difficult to decipher?

In short, no – provided that employers take time to understand the context in which we grew up, and the generational uniqueness in which we continue to work and live.

We millennials in the nascency of our careers are accustomed to living life at breakneck speed. Unconvinced? Consider the following.

Things which used to take generations (or at least one generation) to change – institutional structures, economic cycles, industrial shifts, linguistics, and socio-cultural norms now happen in a matter of years, sometimes more than once.

Since we’ve moved into the workplace, we millennials have experienced two major market crashes, the biggest single terrorist attack in history, two wars, two deadly pandemics and the bursting of no less than three global economic bubbles (dot-com, property and credit).

Technological obsolescence occurs in the blink of an eye. We have collected cassettes, CDs, minidiscs and now digital music. Innovation used to be permitted an occasional breather – for millennials, essential gadgets such as the Discman, iPod, mobile phone, computers and gaming platforms rarely last longer than two years.

And I haven’t even mentioned the fastest-changing medium of all – the Internet with its blogs, Friendster, mySpace, Facebook and Twitter.

Business owners and senior management from the “baby boomer” and “Generation X” era need to understand that the world that we millennials have grown up in has shaped the way that we think, live and work. In Malaysia, it is estimated that Generation Y account for a sizable chunk of the workforce at around 40%.

Broadly speaking, here are a few generalisations of what makes Generation Y tick.

> We look at the concept of a career differently. Generation Y has the highest number of qualified, skilled employees of any generation in history. However, millennials generally have a reduced sense of urgency in forging a career path.

Sociologists partly attribute this to the increased comfort level: working is no longer a matter of survival, and most graduates move back in with their parents after university, affording them the luxury of taking time to choose a job that they really enjoy.

Greater opportunities for success beyond the realm of traditional professional boundaries; huge success stories like Facebook were born straight out of college dorm rooms also contribute to the attitude that building a career can wait.

The concept of taking a year out to travel, experience new things or just relax is no longer the big black mark on a resume that it used to be.

> Work-life balance is not what you think it means. When it comes to keeping millennials happy at work, the concept of “work-life” balance is almost antediluvian. Merely being able to get off work early is not enough for Generation Y. In fact, studies show that millennials are happy to work late, provided that they enjoy their work.

Employers who display trust and grant flexibility to employees – not requiring them to rigidly work, work and work throughout the work day – in turn gain more productive and loyal employees.

Generation Y appreciates being allowed to take short breaks, come in slightly later, enjoy long lunches, or even work from home, without being judged. As long as the quality and quantity of their work is not affected, why should this concern an employer?

Surveys confirm that millennials who are granted flexibility during the week do not even mind being in touch with their work (such as by Blackberry) through weekends. Studies show that millennials view their work and life as a merged identity and look negatively upon employers who are too straight-laced.

The fun and social side of office life is valued by Generation Y, and we tend to be more willing to work hard in an office environment that is permissive of humour, concepts such as casual Fridays, office socials and is not all work and no play.

> We want to live for more than work. We like to feel that we are living for more than just ourselves. Corporate social responsibility initiatives make a company more attractive to us, creating the perception that, by not just living selfishly, the employers are somehow better people.

Statistically, more than 50% of millennials would prefer to work for a company that provides opportunities for employees to actively give back to the community.

> We thrive on overcoming challenges. Generation Y has grown up in the midst of the greatest knowledge boom in history – the Internet. It is irrefutable that information has been more widely accessed by millennials compared to previous generations.

Experts opine that the competitive and fast-paced world of millennials has evolved us into better problem solvers, able to handle big decisions quickly and properly, and even cope with failure better.

> Technology is crucial to us. We are the first generation to have built social networks online. We develop close friendships based on online interaction. We blog, tweet and update our Facebook status.

Access to technology is important to us. One consistently common theme that arises in every workplace survey done around the world is this: millennials are unhappy and unmotivated when the employer blocks access to the Internet or social networks.

Employers who do so are viewed as lacking the trust and flexibility mentioned previously.

Our grasp of technology is not purely for personal reasons – our ability to find information that is relevant to our work in a very short time enables us to be more efficient, and results in a more productive and successful company.

The above are just broad brush strokes of the Generation Y picture. Each employee is unique, and companies will need to take into account local cultures and their own corporate agenda when formulating employment policies.

But employers need to acknowledge the importance of making a conscious effort to understand and adapt to the mindset and needs of the millennials. After all, in time, we will be the ones running your businesses.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Have no mood and motivation. Ayark!!! due date for lit. rev will be on Oct and I've still work on it. Rompong sana-sini and topic always tukar2 lor...experiment pending, pre-scheduled saja took a month. Ya Allah...I'm panic. Confirmation seminar will be on March and I'm still fine tune! Subhanallah walhamdulillah wallahuakbar.....100x. How to get motivation?

Sunday, August 09, 2009


Last night in my dream
I saw him somewhere
Called my name and asked me for return
The voice that I missed for so long
To shower me with love and passion once again

But, I turned away
Left him without words
The sorrow mirrored in my face
I wiped with my little palm
I couldn’t let it hurts me again
And I suddenly woke up
The dream became faded

While laid on my bed
My body was freezing, cold.. everywhere
My mind was flew again
Why? Why did I had a dream of him
He’s not in my heart anymore
He’s not even there for me, in my life

I felt tears on my cheek
Uh! Am I cried? But why….?
I’ve no tears for him for so long
I’ve no memories on him for too long
This is a mistake, it shouldn’t be like this
My happiness is not him

He never saw me
What he saw was just a mistake
Just memories that should be kept
Only in mind as statue of love
He never did what his heart was believed
He continuously blamed me
For the only mistake I had
To love him without circumstances

Now, I owed nothing
I gain my happiness from somewhere else…

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Camel Race-GISA activity

This event took place in the last weekend at Tara-Dalby. The journey was about 2 hrs drive from Gatton. We were 57 people in total, went there by chartered bus. There were camel races as a major event plus cultural performances as we can see in the video attached. Have FUN! :)

Asian Film About Silat

Merantau Trailer (SD) from Merantau Films on Vimeo.

Filem tentang silat dalam masyarakat minangkabau diproduksi orang barat. Lets stop blamming each other for culture plagiatrism etc.

Malaysia pun ada silat, bila pula nak buat film berqualiti? Yasmin Ahmad dah takder....